Point Pleasant Beach, NJ

Garrett drove us to the beach on Sunday. It took at least an hour longer to get there this summer than it did Easter Weekend when we were bundled up like snow skiers. The traffic was horrendous. On the way home, it wasn't quite as bad. But what do I know? I slept most of the ride.

We are definitely amateurs. We took some water, snacks, towels, and a red blanket. I slathered myself with sunscreen that had a 50 rating before we left Park Ridge and once we arrived. (No pregnancy mask for me thankyouverymuch.) We also took a little $5 rain umbrella and a book, but I forgot them in the car. The beach was filled with regulars. They had beach umbrellas, ice chests, beach chairs, and even tents. We, obviously, were not part of their crowd. We did, however, know better than many new parents who tried to force those huge baby strollers across sand.

Spreading our blanket at the first available spot meant that we were nowhere near the actual water. That far out, sun worshipers surrounded us in their tiny bikinis and golden skin. I kept looking for harpooners or Green Peace to spot me.

Not to worry.

When we walked toward the ocean--ah, the sand felt so good on my feet!--we saw the other beach goers. The water was filled with individuals, couples, and families. They were all laughing and having fun. Frolicking is the appropriate word. My first observation was that no woman of a certain age in the midwest or southwest would even consider wearing the swimsuits these women wore. Bikinis abounded.

Well, flesh abounded. Sometimes, the bikinis were rather hard to see. I felt a little more confident in my maternity swimsuit. So did the one woman I saw who covered her bikini with a t-shirt that announced: I'm fat because I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?

The women were typical New Jersey. They wore jewelry at the beach. They carried designer handbags. They wore stylish and expensive swimsuits. You might think they were all pretension. But when a wave knocked one down as she attempted to catwalk with a certain haughtiness because she knew people might be watching, the true Jersey girl came out in her. Her facade broke as she regained her balance and wiped her wet hair out of her face. She guffawed and turned to all those nearby. "So much for trying to be cool."

Because the waves were so strong, I simply stood with my feet in the water and let the waves ebb and flow around me. I was afraid that if I went too deep, Poseidon might knock me down and then I'd go into labor and ruin our day. Garrett, of course, ventured in. He waded out about waist high, turned around, crossed his arms to shiver and mouthed, "It's cold." The lady beside me turned to me and laughed. I guess she thought he was funny, too.

Then again, she may have been laughing at me since I'd placed his hat on top of mine. Attractive, I'm sure.