Coffee Klache

At Panera, I couldn't help but overhear a group of gentlemen, most of whom were probably in their 70s. They reminded me of the male, NJ version of The View. They discussed everything from politics to health.

"Anthony" seemed to be the mediator. He's extremely concerned about the overturning of Roe vs. Wade. He thinks states like Oklahoma are easy targets for taking away women's rights.

"Mike" was concerned about the state of health in America today--especially the youth. It troubled him that they're resorting to tummy tucks and other plastic surgery to become willowy thin while most are obese. He claimed he liked a woman with some meat on her, but most women today were just too fat. He knows anorexia is bad, but he thought maybe some women should look into it.

"Vince" was a smartass who almost made me laugh aloud several times. He's the member of the group who called the others out when they made absurd comments.

"Harv" was the oldest contributor. He seemed more like a guest star than an actual daily contributor to the group. He made his way around Panera greeting people who knew him even though he, obviously, didn't recognize them. Still, it was clear he reveled in the attention.

I wondered if they'd each planned several topics for the gathering. They were highly entertaining. Someone should take a video camera in there and film them. I'd tune in daily.

Harv: I can't hear you guys today.
Mike: Maybe you need to check your batteries.
Harv: (fidgeting with his ear) No, I got new ones.
Anthony: How much do those cost?
Harv: 4 or 5 dollars.
Anthony: I should carry some around and sell them at the home. Make some money.
Harv: (throwing up his hands and shaking his head) No! They shouldn't touch your skin. Batteries give you the cancer. That's why I won't use a cell phone.
Vince: I thought it was because you couldn't see the numbers.
Harv: (shrugs) That, too.
Mike: (pushing back his chair) Anyone want another pastry?
Harv: I won't eat the stuff. I've lost weight.
Anthony: How much?
Harv: 50 pounds.
Vince: Ah, you lost that in the hospital last year. Got nothin' to do with pastries.
Harv: (holds hands open to the sky and grins) Whaddayagonnado?