Maternity Shopping

If one more person tells me at a maternity shop that I'm only barely pregnant before they know how far along I am, I may do something violent and hormonal. I mean, c'mon, tell my closet and all of the clothes that I can't wear anymore that I'm barely pregnant. I'm at the heaviest I've ever been in my life. Actually, in the last week, I'm pretty sure I passed that number.

The other day Garrett said every time he sees me, I'm bigger. I believe him.

My mom was such a trouper when it came to shopping. I hope she enjoyed it. She bought me some clothes and patiently helped in dressing rooms as I tried to get accustomed to this strange new body of mine. It's wonderful to wear clothes that actually FIT again! I finally have a pair of jeans that fit over my thighs and don't require one of those belly bands to stay up because the ability to zip and button them is long past.

For women who haven't been pregnant before, be careful in those dressing rooms. They have a pillow that ties around your waist to add 3 months to your pregnant belly. In theory, it's supposed to help you buy clothes that will fit in the future. In reality, it scares the hell out of you and makes the baby's grandmother laugh.

And breasts? Ugh. They're sooo overrated. A total pain. I had to get sized because my mind could not grasp the fact that I needed the size I actually do. At Destination Maternity I got up close and personal with Trudy, who insisted on putting the bras on me herself. She was so sweet and helpful and even got me to buy some belly cream without checking the price until I got home. Cha-ching! However, a comfortable bra has made it to the top of my list of things that have made me happy in my life.

My friend Alison has promised me some of her maternity clothes--as soon as the girl whose baby is due in April returns them. I'm looking forward to it. I'd always heard babies were expensive, but no one mentioned how hard it is to get dressed in the morning!