Lamaze Day 2

Garrett thinks that the Lamaze course should be retitled What to Expect When You're Expecting. I agree. We rather expected to learn only about "breathing" and to be verbally crucified if we wanted anything beyond "normal" childbirth, which is what most of us call "natural" childbirth. You know, the kind with no medical intervention or painkillers where women suffer and in generations past... died.

On the contrary, the second day was spent mostly discussing medical interventions. She passed around doodads and gadgets. Some aren't that scary but other we hope won't have to be used. For example, did you know that sometimes they monitor the baby internally during labor by hooking a thing to the top of its head while baby is still inside you? I kid you not. Remember sewing your fingers together as a kid? It sort of works under that premise--except I think the doc goes by feel and can't see what he or she is doing. Sure, if something major happens and they have to do it, I'm not going to deny modern science; however, we're keeping our fingers and toes crossed that this particular advancement in science won't be required!

As naive as we are, we also learned that the epidural stays in your back the whole time. I thought it was sort of a one shot deal. Plus, they don't go into your spine like they once did with a "spinal." Cool. Juice me up. In our research, we'd learned that women who get an epidural too soon often have an increased requirement of c-sections, but the class taught us that if you go until 4-5 cm all should be well.

Garrett finally learned that a c-section is traumatic. He didn't understand why I didn't want one until yesterday. He thought it was just a little easy cut and out comes the baby. Now he understands that it is major surgery. I, on the other hand, feel a little better about it if I actually have to have one. Until yesterday, I thought they cut through the stomach muscles. Apparently, they separate it. Still...ew.

Someone cited a fact that the World Health Organization believes only 10-15% of moms require c-sections in industrialized nations, but in the U.S. it's 31%. Although the modern media likes to act like it's moms who don't want to be inconvenienced with an unexpected arrival, only 2% of those are at mother's request. We discussed the whole campaign this area has had for a while called "Too Posh to Push." Perhaps my personal campaign would be "Too Queasy for Cutting."

Don't get me wrong. We, obviously, believe in the miracles of modern science, but I don't want them forced on me. Although I've passed them up after other surgeries, I have no problems with painkillers during childbirth. Garrett shared some story a guy told him at work about a woman who championed "normal" childbirth and gripped the bed so tightly she ripped the tendons in her hands and had to have physical therapy. Many months later, she still hasn't recovered.

We look forward to welcoming Max into the world. I don't feel compelled to be a hero. Feeding him will get him to think that anyway, right?

Week 34 and 35

Week 34
Garrett put together our little froggie and dragonfly mobile this week and placed it on the crib. It plays a lullaby.



Week 35

It's becoming more obvious that this kid's arrival should be soon!

Movies

The Bucket List
G's opinion: 4 of 5 stars. The story was fantastic. Everyone needs to be reminded how short life life really is. They need to live for the moment because in a very short, few moments, their lives will be over. The only criticism I have of the movie is that the special effects, at times, seemed fake.
B's opinion: 3 1/2 of 5 stars. It compelled me in the same way a Nicholas Sparks' book does. I continue with the story even though I know how it ends, there are no surprises, and nothing is told in a new way. Still, the cast was terrific and there are some nice exchanges between Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. Plus, it was nice to see the man who played Jack from Will and Grace in a different role. Oh, and I thought it was making a negative commentary on the rich vs. poor and sharing hospital rooms...but it actually showed it in a positive light. So, I guess that was one unexpected twist--although it was made pretty evident at the beginning of the movie.

The Other Boleyn Girl
G's opinion: 2 of 5 stars. Nothing worse than a historically inaccurate movie done poorly.
B's opinion: 1 of 5 stars. What a disappointment! The book--and history itself--was soooo much better. The film merely touched on the political, familial and religious strains of the times, leaving the film little more than a prettily costumed Hollywood love story. I hate that Anne and Henry were portrayed as so one dimensional. C'mon, Elizabeth I received her good genes from two strong leaders who followed the wrong motivations along the way. All three of them changed the world forever. I don't know if the fault lies in the screenplay adaptation or the actors themselves. It's a sad, sad day in cinema.

Boomer Sooner

Several days ago I made my usual morning trip to The Gym. The crowd was the typical fare of 30 and 40 somethings with most of the regulars in attendance.

However, I noticed something a bit out of the ordinary. There was a fairly young, round guy wearing a Longhorns cap. I watched this guy for a bit before I remembered that I was wearing my OU socks, a gift from my lovely wife, conveniently hidden under my long Under Armour workout pants.

I promptly walked over to this guy, set my foot up on the bench he was using, and raised the leg of my workout pants to reveal the OU on my socks. Speechless, his mouth hung open and his eyes widened. I think that I would have received the same look if I had walked over and pulled out my unmentionable (note: this part has been slightly edited by Brandi). A bit surprised myself, I pointed to his hat and said that I noticed his Longhorns cap. Still confused, he responded that he had borrowed the hat from his roommate and did not even know what it represented.

I have never seen him back at The Gym.

--G

Glamour

Okay... I've talked about how cool it is...

Here is the wonderful cover Nan Bishop designed for Glamour.

I know you want one of your very own.
Don't worry. Copies will be available in stores November 18.

Picture Books

We've been reading to Max at night. He seems to calm down for bed which allows Mommy to sleep better. Plus, research indicates that infants show a familiarity with books that were read to them in utero. Since Garrett and I swap off reading to him, he gets to know our voices. Research shows that Max will show a preference for our voices after birth, too. Athough, apparently, he'll prefer our voices muffled by amniotic fluid!

Here are our reviews for the latest picture books we've read.

The Rabbit Who Couldn't Find his Daddy by Lilian Edvall and Sara Gimbergsson
G: 1 of 5 rattles I thought pages had been torn out of the book because the story ended so abruptly. I wasn't even really wild about the illustrations. There's a part of me that feels bad about dogging a kid's book. I have no problem dogging a crappy movie, but I feel like I'm being mean to a little kid.
B: 1 of 5 rattles It lacks a satisfying ending. We had to make one up just to move on with our lives. The characters are even annoying. On a bright note, some of the illustrations are rather cute.

Oh, the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss
G: 5 of 5 rattles. It's a good one for life. Dr. Seuss is a genius.
B: 5 of 5 rattles. It's Dr. Seuss. How can you go wrong? Not only is it inspiring, but it also teaches readers to deal with inevitable adversity.

Peanut Butter and Jellyfishes by Brian P Cleary and Besty E. Snyder
G: 4 of 5 rattles. I enjoyed finding the hidden alphabet items in the pictures.
B: 5 of 5 rattles. Bright and colorful alphabet book that encourages interaction with your child as you find the pictures of things that begin with certain letters of the alphabet. Since Max isn't much to interact these days, Garrett and I had a good time.

The Wriggly, Wriggly Baby by Jessica Clerk and Laura Rankin
G: 3 of 5 rattles. Cute illustrations. I liked the little dog and cat helper.
B: 3 of 5 rattles. It's definitely more fun to read aloud than silently. Uses active verbs and picture nouns.

And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street by Dr. Seuss
G: 5 of 5 rattles. I liked the boy's imagination. You can see the evolution of Seuss's books from this one to the later ones.
B: 4 of 5. Classic Dr. Seuss...the first of his children's books! Note: it was rejected 27 times before it was published.

Lamaze--Day one

Lamaze is probably the only class you'll ever take where the instructor lies on her back and throws her legs in the air so that you get a full shot of her fanny and panty lines.

Right before class began, a guy came in alone to inform the instructor that he and his wife were unable to attend because she was in labor four weeks early. He wasn't with her at the hospital because they'd asked him to leave because he was agitating her. He asked for any last minute tips and the instructor told him to"breathe."

As suggested, we took our pillows and blanket. We all tried the suggested labor positions and breathing exercises, but I still have no clue why people use the pillows and blankets. Is it just on tv? Although we didn't use them in class, I was glad to have them because the room was c-c-c-cold, the seats weren't soft, and my back ached. Perhaps I'm a sadist, but I found comfort knowing that the other women in the room were as miserable as I.

What Garrett learned from the class:

• Labor's average time frame is 16 hours, including baby delivery.
• I used to think that the entire duration of labor consisted of pain and suffering. I learned in the class that this is only a small part of the labor experience. B's note: The instructor said that contractions fill 1/3 of the time.
• I learned that a baby should come out facing the mother's butt.
• The worst thing is not to breathe.
• A partner should be encouraging and touching, massage them, help them change positions.
• Woman should change positions every 30 minutes or so and go to the bathroom.
• I'm supposed to give Brandi ice chips every two minutes.
• Whatever I do, I'm supposed to make sure Brandi does not deliver topless. B's note: Seriously, the videos they show in this class are a bit traumatic!

Speaking of traumatic, Garrett wanted me to mention that our instructor gave birth to all three of her children at home. For one of the births, only her husband was present.

No, thank you.